This is a chapter from one of my Short stories called "Look Behind you" it tells the story of a killer born through abuse.
The darkness was thick, like an enveloping blanket of deadly fog, with a hint of eucalyptus and dead socks. My feet are tucked up under close to my bottom as I hug my knees gently rocking back and forward, careful not to make a sound.
“Are you ready to come out yet you little bastard?” my stepmother yelled through the thin plywood of the closet door.
I stifled a cry of surprise and fear, as she kicked the door to scare me. A flood of salty rain flowed down my cheeks, and I could feel the watery snot in my nose start to build up and then cascade down my top lip.
“Well are you done with your answering back or do I have to leave you in there all night again?” She bellowed.
I felt quietly around the bottom of the closet and let my fingers find and dig into an old fur coat; all that was left of my real mothers’ possessions, after this alien threw all her clothes away.
The old coat had an odd stale smell as well as a faint reminder of my real mothers’ old perfume. I loved it because it was warm and soft like hugging a big fluffy dog, and I let myself slip into a state of unawareness like I always did, when the woman who was not my mother proceeded to down glass after glass of cheap wine and then use me as her tormented play thing.
With yet another “BANG” on the door, the reality of my situation flooded back with a flurry, and the now fantasy of my life when mum was alive and home to look after me seemed like a distant past, even though I think it was only two years ago.
When your fourteen years old it’s hard to remember stuff in relation to time, but I do know one thing, and that’s that I hate my life now. This supposed mother I have now is a sponge! That’s what my auntie calls her; she stays home while dad works two jobs. A lazy no good whore is another of my favourite sayings that my auntie uses, coz swearing is cool.
LIGHT! Bright and bountiful poured into my senses through my eyes as the door screamed open and the sanctuary of my pure dark world was smashed to pieces within my mind, my real mother drifted away with the darkness back into that special place in my heart, just as the back of the whores hand hit my left cheek.
“Get your mother fucking arse out of that closet now young man” she slurred at me, wine glass positioned securely in her other hand.
“Your father is not coming home for two days, so you better buck up sunshine! or we are going to have some real issues you and me, and you can stay in there until he gets home, you can shit and piss yourself for all I care!” she snarled at me and I could smell the sour wine and tobacco on her breath.
I crawled out of my warm dark sanctuary into the blazing incandescent light holding my face where she hit me, then when clear of her I ran to the toilet to clean myself up. As I ran past her she kicked me in the arse and said “hurry up if you want something to eat! Or you can starve”
I cleaned up and watched as she placed a plate of cold slop in front of me and sat there drinking and smoking as I put the first mouthful to my lips. It was disgusting, and tasted like boiled cardboard and had the consistency of lumpy porridge.
I couldn’t help it my face turned into a grimace before I could stop it and she slapped the plate away from me. The china hit the cold linoleum floor and shattered into hundreds or small shards that skidded across the slick floor. The glop that was meant to be my dinner was stuck like glue to the filthy un-swept floor.
“you can fucking starve then” she said as she hit me again and again, open hands slapped my face and shoulders, I lifted my hands up to stop the onslaught but the barrage of abuse and physical violence kept coming at me.
That’s when it happened!
I remember holding the old style plastic handled fork in my hand, the weight of that old piece of cutlery felt both warm and weighty in my enclosed fist.
The world came to a complete standstill, I could hear my own heart beating in my head and my world became clear and known to me all at the same time.
The barrage of abuse and the slaps just kept coming at me, but I was in a different place now, I was at peace, I found my thoughts drifting to the fact that I could never be this happy again as long as I lived. I opened my eyes to see my savoir; the one single piece of human detritus that I never expected would aide in my salvation.
My father was being led by his penis and all she was good for was the sex which kept me awake at nights when he was home. This horrible woman was a leach on society and a drain on my father’s wallet, let alone his ball sacks.
As the orchestra of violence was playing out to my physical self, the flood of adrenaline that was boiling in my blood stream to counter my pain and fear gave me the serenity I needed as my left hand grabbed her right wrist hard and fast.
My puffy eyes now replaced with a serine look of wonderment, wide with hate and abhorrence they looked straight into her soul. She stopped and I detected fear as she saw the evil intent in my powder blue eyes, it was in the next instant that she saw a smile form on my lips just as the fork entered the space between the sides of her lower jaw and penetrated thru her tongue and into the soft pallet lodging itself there so hard I could not pull it out.
She stepped backward making a moaning noise similar to that when she has dads cock deep in her mouth. I smiled and wiped the blood away from the side of my mouth as I watched her stumble as she bled out for the back door.
Silently I chased her and snatched her night gown in my left hand which made her stumble and as she turned to look back at me she slipped on her own blood like a lipstick smear against a mirror. The next few seconds still play out in my mind when I masturbate.
Her pretty bloated face turned from mine in horror as she realized it was going to be a hard fall. Her arms outstretched hit the edge of the kitchen table and spun her almost horizontal to the floor. I remember thinking what a mess she was making as items flew off the table and surrounding bench tops with her flailing almost silently because of the fork that pinned whore mouth almost closed.
Whump! She hit the floor finally and I watched as that beautiful old fork contact the linoleum covered cement floor taking all the weight of her fall, and then the penetrated her brain.
It was at that turning point, that one singular moment that I was reborn; I had a purpose and a new found passion. I knew I had all night to enjoy myself so I made a turkey and cheese sandwich, poured a big class of Pepsi Max, and settled in for a fun filled night of reality TV.
The only problem I had, continually walking over her body with fluids and shit leaking out of every orifice. it made it a tad more difficult to stand, but a good spray of Glen 20 disinfectant fixed it somewhat.
I finished my meal and carved the word “WHORE” into her forehead with a pen knife I had for scouts for fun, packed my back pack with clean cloths, water, biscuits, chocolate and left a note for my poor father saying how sorry I was that I had to leave.
I explained that his so called wife had beaten, and abused me and that I was sorry about the terrible accident that befell her. I knew deep down he would never forgive me, but I ended the note with a thank you telling him not to worry as I was reborn with the help of GOD.Graeme Hawke Copyright 2011 GH