This is a chapter from one of my Short stories called "Look Behind you" it tells the story of a killer born through abuse.
Darkness
The darkness was
thick, like an enveloping blanket of deadly fog, with a hint of eucalyptus and
dead socks. My feet are tucked up under close to my bottom as I hug my knees
gently rocking back and forward, careful not to make a sound.
“Are you ready to
come out yet you little bastard?” my stepmother yelled through the thin plywood
of the closet door.
I stifled a cry of
surprise and fear, as she kicked the door to scare me. A flood of salty rain
flowed down my cheeks, and I could feel the watery snot in my nose start to build
up and then cascade down my top lip.
“Well are you done
with your answering back or do I have to leave you in there all night
again?” She bellowed.
I felt quietly
around the bottom of the closet and let my fingers find and dig into an old fur
coat; all that was left of my real mothers’ possessions, after this alien threw
all her clothes away.
The old coat had an
odd stale smell as well as a faint reminder of my real mothers’ old perfume. I
loved it because it was warm and soft like hugging a big fluffy dog, and I let
myself slip into a state of unawareness like I always did, when the woman who
was not my mother proceeded to down glass after glass of cheap wine and then use
me as her tormented play thing.
With yet another “BANG”
on the door, the reality of my situation flooded back with a flurry, and the
now fantasy of my life when mum was alive and home to look after me seemed like
a distant past, even though I think it was only two years ago.
When your fourteen
years old it’s hard to remember stuff in relation to time, but I do know one
thing, and that’s that I hate my life now.
This supposed mother I have now is a sponge! That’s what my auntie calls
her; she stays home while dad works two jobs. A lazy no good whore is another
of my favourite sayings that my auntie uses, coz swearing is cool.
LIGHT! Bright and
bountiful poured into my senses through my eyes as the door screamed open and the
sanctuary of my pure dark world was smashed to pieces within my mind, my real
mother drifted away with the darkness back into that special place in my heart,
just as the back of the whores hand hit my left cheek.
“Get your mother
fucking arse out of that closet now young man” she slurred at me, wine glass positioned
securely in her other hand.
“Your father is not
coming home for two days, so you better buck up sunshine! or we are going to
have some real issues you and me, and you can stay in there until he gets home,
you can shit and piss yourself for all I care!” she snarled at me and I could
smell the sour wine and tobacco on her breath.
I crawled out of my
warm dark sanctuary into the blazing incandescent light holding my face where
she hit me, then when clear of her I ran to the toilet to clean myself up. As I
ran past her she kicked me in the arse and said “hurry up if you want something
to eat! Or you can starve”
I cleaned up and
watched as she placed a plate of cold slop in front of me and sat there
drinking and smoking as I put the first mouthful to my lips. It was disgusting,
and tasted like boiled cardboard and had the consistency of lumpy porridge.
I couldn’t help it
my face turned into a grimace before I could stop it and she slapped the plate
away from me. The china hit the cold linoleum floor and shattered into hundreds
or small shards that skidded across the slick floor. The glop that was meant to
be my dinner was stuck like glue to the filthy un-swept floor.
“you can fucking
starve then” she said as she hit me again and again, open hands slapped my face
and shoulders, I lifted my hands up to stop the onslaught but the barrage of
abuse and physical violence kept coming at me.
That’s when it
happened!
I remember holding the
old style plastic handled fork in my hand, the weight of that old piece of
cutlery felt both warm and weighty in my enclosed fist.
The world came to a
complete standstill, I could hear my own heart beating in my head and my world
became clear and known to me all at the same time.
The barrage of abuse and the slaps just kept coming
at me, but I was in a different place now, I was at peace, I found my thoughts
drifting to the fact that I could never be this happy again as long as I lived.
I opened my eyes to see my savoir; the one single piece of human detritus that
I never expected would aide in my salvation.
My father was being
led by his penis and all she was good for was the sex which kept me awake at
nights when he was home. This horrible woman was a leach on society and a drain
on my father’s wallet, let alone his ball sacks.
As the orchestra of
violence was playing out to my physical self, the flood of adrenaline that was
boiling in my blood stream to counter my pain and fear gave me the serenity I
needed as my left hand grabbed her right wrist hard and fast.
My puffy eyes now replaced
with a serine look of wonderment, wide with hate and abhorrence they looked
straight into her soul. She stopped and I detected fear as she saw the evil
intent in my powder blue eyes, it was in the next instant that she saw a smile
form on my lips just as the fork entered the space between the sides of her
lower jaw and penetrated thru her tongue and into the soft pallet lodging
itself there so hard I could not pull it out.
She stepped
backward making a moaning noise similar to that when she has dads cock deep in
her mouth. I smiled and wiped the blood
away from the side of my mouth as I watched her stumble as she bled out for the
back door.
Silently I chased
her and snatched her night gown in my left hand which made her stumble and as
she turned to look back at me she slipped on her own blood like a lipstick
smear against a mirror. The next few seconds still play out in my mind when I
masturbate.
Her pretty bloated
face turned from mine in horror as she realized it was going to be a hard fall.
Her arms outstretched hit the edge of the kitchen table and spun her almost
horizontal to the floor. I remember thinking what a mess she was making as
items flew off the table and surrounding bench tops with her flailing almost
silently because of the fork that pinned whore mouth almost closed.
Whump! She hit the
floor finally and I watched as that beautiful old fork contact the linoleum
covered cement floor taking all the weight of her fall, and then the penetrated
her brain.
It was at that
turning point, that one singular moment that I was reborn; I had a purpose and
a new found passion. I knew I had all night to enjoy myself so I made a turkey and
cheese sandwich, poured a big class of Pepsi Max, and settled in for a fun
filled night of reality TV.
The only problem I
had, continually walking over her body with fluids and shit leaking out of every
orifice. it made it a tad more difficult to stand, but a good spray of Glen 20
disinfectant fixed it somewhat.
I finished my meal and
carved the word “WHORE” into her forehead with a pen knife I had for scouts for
fun, packed my back pack with clean cloths, water, biscuits, chocolate and left
a note for my poor father saying how sorry I was that I had to leave.
I explained that
his so called wife had beaten, and abused me and that I was sorry about the
terrible accident that befell her. I knew deep down he would never forgive me,
but I ended the note with a thank you telling him not to worry as I was reborn
with the help of GOD.
Graeme Hawke Copyright 2011 GH
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