Tuesday, 30 July 2013

"Achluophobia" - Rewrite first 5 chapters

(Fear of possible or imagined dangers concealed by the darkness.)
By Graeme Hawke
Copyright © 2013 by Graeme D Hawke
All rights reserved. This book or any portion thereof
may not be reproduced or used in any manner whatsoever
without the express written permission of the publisher
except for the use of brief quotations in a book review.

Chapter 1 – Your God

Mother dragged me by the left earlobe to her old rickety timber closet and with one sweeping motion threw me inside the dark dry confined space.

 My tears are now glistening silver trails of my torment, running down my flushed cheeks, and the salty flavour mixed in with liquefied snot was dancing to an unnatural tune around my taste buds, but I still cried.

I banged upon the rattly wooden door as I cried for forgiveness, but all I managed to do was inflame mother even more, to the point where all I heard her say was.

“The more you complain young man, the longer you stay in there.”

This is what she always says, but I know she will keep me locked up in here until she is good and ready, nothing I can do or say has an impact on my fate or outcome.

Mother always locks me away in this closet, although she knows full well I hate the dark, it scares me, and the coldness that envelopes me makes me feel alone and scared.

My survival instincts kicked in and although I have not seen much of the world around me I know to close my eyes until she once more lets me out.

Who knows this time I might be in here an hour, or maybe if she thought I had been exceedingly naughty, I would have to stay in here all night.

“Please mum, I’ll be good!” I say with a whisper. I hear her talking to herself again.

“He’s always naughty and he belongs in there, don’t tell me what to do! Yes he is corrupted by the devil, he keeps leering at me in the shower, and he watches me when I get undressed……I caught him, this is for his own good lord”

I hear mother talking to God; he’s the only man she talks to now since my father left us, six months ago.

Dad left because as he put it: “Your mum is not quite right in the head son, I loved her once but I can’t stay here, I’ll send for you when I get settled”.

That was six years ago and I have never seen him since that day he left.

“Mommy, I’m sorry please let me out”

No reply is forthcoming to my please for leniency and as I peek through the crack in the door, I see mum as usual dressed in her smartest navy blue dress with her favourite  floral apron on. Although the air in my confined space is musty, the house smells like a local bakery and the fresh baked scones sitting on the cooling rack started permeating my inner sanctum. I love scones, but I doubt that I will be having any tonight.

I will probably have nothing to eat and only darkness and my own thoughts company again tonight. As I comfort myself in my hideaway my mind is searching for reasons to hate but at this stage of my life its hard as I sit amongst old clothes and coats to feel this way.

I do love my mum, I think; but she has been damaged and is torn between the love she lost, and me, the shorter embodiment and constant reminder of the man that left her, and in her mind is the cause of all of her suffering and pain.

Watching through the crack again I see the pills in her hand as she throws them into her blasphemous mouth and washes them down with the bottle of gin currently grasped in her hand.

 The mixture of these two items normally leads to the bruises I often have on my face, and arms, and in her words they were testament of Gods’ Wrath for me being such a naughty child.

“I channel his authority!” she normally says aloud as she hits me or cuts me with the belt buckle during her drunken tirades. It’s always my fault I get hurt, I know deep inside she is a good person but, if she is doing the will of God then he must hate me.

The darkness is slowly creeping into my soul now and I am drifting off to that place in my mind where I contemplate everything and everyone in my short life so far.

I know I am quite immature for my age, but I have been told I have the patience of a saint and that in some ways I seem older and wiser than my small number of years on this world would allow.

I sometimes have problems mixing with people I don’t know and to stop the awkwardness, I will often find an out of the way place close by and sit, hidden in shadows as I wait for mother after church, or shopping.

I am not slow or anything it’s just that since I was four years old, the closet I sit in has been almost like my only real sanctuary, a place of peace, not the church but the darkness of four timber panels and my own thoughts for comfort.

For the last eight years now I have been terrified of this darkness that now entombs me, but my mind has become accustomed to the cold darkness and never betrays me.

I know every scratch, dent and Knott in the wood, the coolness of the hinges and the small dart of light that she stuffs with a tissue which is the old brass key hole.

 My mind races back to my reality that is the confined space where I sit at this moment and I allow the atmosphere to permeate and leach into my soul once more, I both fear, and love it, for the once scared four year old boy is all but a faded memory now, and the much calmer more crafty twelve year old sits in his place.

I don’t know when it happened, I can’t tell you that, but I do remember that it happened on a not so unusual day, when like now I was shoved in my solitary confinement as punishment by my long suffering somewhat mentally unstable mother. What I do remember is a day when the birds chirped, and the sun danced across the windows as if being played by an accomplished master, I was tearful and scared out of my wits in one moment, and the next deep sorrowful breath I took, I felt at ease with my dark and somewhat foreboding surroundings.

I closed my eyes and started to notice the smells that had always been all around me, the comfort of the dissipating moth balls, and the musk of a moist winter’s coat. The stale feet smell of mothers’ church shoes and the red high heels she wore no more, that I now love so much.

I fumbled excitedly in the darkness for the colourful leather, removed my soiled shoes and socks and placed the still cold patent leather heels on my feet.

At first I felt strange, like an alien being that crash landed and had no shoes to wear but these high heeled red, but exciting at the same time, and as I stroked the red leather and felt the length of the heel running away from my heel down to a solid metallic tip, I drew a long lingering breath.

For the first time in my life I noticed my penis fill with joy as I stroked the leather, I closed my eyes I saw hundreds of red heeled feet dancing around me, but in my mind’s eye I looked further up, they were all my mother, and she wasn’t dancing she was yelling at me, stomping on me! The heels were digging into my flesh, blood spots appearing like blood red rose buds all over my body, I screamed a cold dark silent scream in my head, and I was reborn.

I reached for the shoe that was on my foot and as its warmth and weight translated into my hand for me to use on my dream attacker she stopped looked at me and said “you’ll turn out just like your father” that’s when in my mind the heel entered her bulging, almost furious right eye and popped  like a balloon as the metal spike forced its way three inches into her brain, and as she fell dead to the floor,  I opened my eyes and smiled as I noticed the moisture in my pants where my penis still throbbed but had started to subside.

I sat and waited enjoying the warm leather on my feet, imagining I was a movie star at a gala event, cameras flashing; people all wanting to be with me. I remembered Doris Day, she was beautiful and boy could she sing, mum would allow me to sit with her and watch the midday movies when her movies were on sometimes.

I smiled and at that moment I knew I would never fear the closet again after this day, and I thought about the next time what would I do? How I would spend my time?

Just then the door burst open and she dragged me out spitting bible verse through her drink induced numb lips and she was dragging me to the bed where she used her hand on my white exposed cheeks, they welted and blushed with smack after smack but I did not cry, I laid still, and my eyes closed around the world as my body went numb and withdrew into its own darkness. I met myself there and we chatted for what seemed like hours, but it was fleeting moments in a young boys’s mind.

‘I smiled.’

I spent the next three years honing my skills in the darkness, and in this time I also grew into a young man, now six feet tall and full of testosterone. I would see her watching me pleasuring myself through the gap between the door and the frame, all the time hearing her sobbing between moans of lust in her room later.

I now had everything I needed from my mother, the reason to hate and the means by which to enforce it. I soon realised it was time to put my new found lust for life to the test.

 I grew sick of tormenting the local dogs and cats, especially cats I hated them so much, because like me they lived for the darkness creeping around unseen and silent of footfall, but I also admired as much as never trusted one of them.

You see a cat can make you think they love you, want you, need you.  They make you pat and cuddle and snuggle them, but all the time it is a rouse, a lie, they are using you to get what they want, they crave, their unbridled need to take for personal pleasure is just so pure and when they want to leave they simply leave.

If you have ever tried to move a feline that was comfortable then you know the results, hissing scratching even a bite, but they will often lay in wait and hurt you when you least expect it, and they make it feel as if you deserved it.

Today you see is a special day! it’s my sixteenth birthday, I made my way to school along the tree lined streets dancing in and out of the shadows by myself, paying special attention not to arouse any attention to me as I made my way. At school I had learned and I even made myself out to be one of the cool kids as part of my learning routine.

I knew I had to fit in, as well as be invisible and I was now getting pretty damn good at it. My walk home after my hours of drudgery was uneventful as usual and the local neighbours all waved nervously at me as I walked past.

They all know the history of my mother and her antics, but if only they knew the real story, the real me that she had created, not from the warm confines of her womb, but the darkness of my wooden prison, they would run and hide, lock yourselves away cowards.

As on any other day today was no different, and as normal when I walked through the door with the banana cream sponge cake I had purchased on the way home she was drunk.

There she lay, my passed out, god fearing mother, and as always she had forgotten it was my birthday and was lying in a pool of her own malt liqueur sputum, snoring away the daylight hours until I returned for her to take out her so called ruined life on my person.

I placing the cake in the refrigerator and gently stooped down to help her up, sitting her on her favourite kitchen chair; I had assembled just for her, at the head of the table.

 I then grabbed the lavender scented wash cloth and rinsed it in the cold tap water, wrung it out and proceeded to wash her face and mouth clean of the days alcohol abuse.

Once clean I placed her old red heels on her alcohol bloated feet, and taking a ruby red lipstick I had purchased for just such an occasion, ran the oily coloured substance around her thin, pursed and slightly mumbling lips. Ah “why so sad” I said making a reference to the Joker.

 Another hero of mine

I took my time and fastened special elasticised Velcro straps to her wrists and ankles that helped keep her upright as much as restraining her movement once awake.

My depleted and completely out of it mother sat drooling down her chin and into her lap as I sat patiently for two hours watching, remembering the acts of utter cruelty she made me endure.

Turning off the kitchen light I just sat there observing her troubled sleep, reciting passages from the bible, mumbling to herself and reliving a time long ago as she cursed my father. Then without warning her eyes slowly started to open and it hit home to me that she was finally starting to sober up.

“What are you doing to me” she spat with the vehemence of a cobra.

I just sat looking watching for about a minute before answering her.

“It’s my birthday mother; I just thought you would like to help me sing happy birthday and watch as I blow out the candles” I replied with just a hint of malice and arrogance.

She watched me and twitched as I walked to the fridge, opened the chipped metal door and removed the banana cream sponge with sixteen candles on it.

“Oh my dear god, you’re a pervert, a fag” the words drifted out of her moist opening with indifference and a hint of “I told ya so’ on them.

The red heals I was wearing were patent leather, four inches tall and amazingly comfortable, they made my calves taught and terrific, just like Doris’s.

 I did a twirl and placed the cake on the table then stepped back and smiled at her doing a twirl as I did so while I slowly ran the bright red lipstick around my full lips. The sweet oily smell of the ruby lipstick had the desired affect and it started fuelling my hormones and my hate. I turned quickly once more and quickly stood in front of her off to one side.

“No mother, I am no fag, nor a queer, A pervert maybe, but I love women and this is my way of showing them just how much  I adore how they look and feel” I said as I lit the candles on my cake one at a time. 

“Do you even know how old I am mother” I said as she was mumbling bible verse and was now pleading for god to help me.

“God has played no part in my development mother and your god left you years ago with my father!” I yelled at her.

“Now; why don’t you be a good mummy and sing happy birthday to your little boy” I sad grabbing her by the hair and smashing her face into the tables timber surface.

“Oh look mummy had a boo boo,” I laughed as she spat blood and teeth onto her chin past her ruined bottom lip.

I leant down, and with renewed zest blew out the candles and closed my eyes while I made a wish as I did so.

“Untie me devils seed! I am your mother and why do you have me bound to this chair” she screamed through ruined teeth and blood filled spittle, demanding that I remove the straps from her wrists and ankles.

I moved behind her and slipped the gag I had fashioned out of a dog toy ball and some twine into her bleeding mouth to shut her up while I prepared.

“Now mother lets all just play nice it’s  my birthday after all , see Mr. Burns is being quiet” I said as I pointed to the teddy I loved as a child, Mr burns wast always called that, his original name was Mr. Ted but mother renamed him for me the day she burnt and disfigured him in one of her drunken rages.

Her eyes now filled with understanding, she finally came to the realisation the gravity of what was going on and she pleaded for me through muffled urges to stop. But I was too far in my plan, and all those years of suffering were now looking back at me through her blood shot eyes, which now had darkened bags of aged salted skin hanging underneath.

 If her eyes could be trusted they would have said, “Please let me go I’ll be nice now I promise” but it was just too little too late for that now.

I moved to her right shoulder and sang my birthday song to myself, all the while she sat crying and sniffling beneath me. I leant forward and placed my cheek next to hers and as I told her my one and only wish, I slid the serrated blade of the cake covered blade across her throat so hard I felt the bone at the back of her spine, and heard the scrape as the two met.

I had not realised I was clenching my jaw so tightly, but before I could do anything about, it I cracked a molar at the same time the ecstasy of my release from her overtook my soul.

 The inside of my underpants were wet with jubilation, and my mouth in agony which was a perfect and fitting feeling, as her death in my arms was oh, so exquisite.

“Go with your god now mother” I whispered into her ear as I let go of her forehead and watched her head slump backwards bubbling blood and bile from her ruined throat.

 I undid the Velcro straps and lifted the dead weight of her bloated sack off the chair, all the time dragging a bloody trail behind me; I placed her in the pantry cupboard, positioned her head as best I could on her ruined stump and closed the door, slapping my hands together and spraying blood all aver my face in a job well done gesture.

I turned towards the closed door and said “Enjoy the darkness that you forced me to at first endure, and then grow to love mother, for I now know who I am. I am a product of your gods making, but with a little help from my father’s genes and my mother’s drunken madness and hatred, I am a product of this sadistic society and I love it.”

I went to leave but remembered all good movies had a fitting end line so I stopped, wiped the blood from my hands on a dish cloth and said.

 “You see mother, we all hear the voices in our minds, but the key is to listen to them!

Chapter 2 – Five years on

The morning was bright and crisp, the dew starting to burn off was creating a swirling blanket of mist outside as Mercedes lifted her arms slowly out of the warm confines of the duck down quilt to stretch the nights immobility from her muscles. Gently rubbing the collected sleep from her rested eyes, she entered yet another amazing day.

Through sleepy eyes she took in her pastel apricot bedroom with light lace curtains and the heavy blind that allowed the light to filter in at each side. Rolling over she slowly stretched both legs and arms once more like a morning starfish ballet.

Her natural red locks fell all around the pillow shrouding her face as she rolled on to her back allowing the shadows and dappled light to create a beautiful modern dance routine on the ceiling above.

Allowing her arm to fall to the side it met with no resistance as the other occupant of her bed was already up and out, but the area where he slept was still warm. Her pretty face broke into a broad engaging smile as she remembered their love making from the night just gone.

“Liam! Put the kettle on babe” she said in a croaky morning voice that drifted down the stairs into the kitchen below as if transported on a bed of rose petals and honey.

“Already done hun…., do you want pancakes, or toast” the reply came back to her as she contemplated the day ahead. “Pancakes, please” she replied as she thought about the gruelling two hours in the gym she would inflict upon her body as usual this Saturday morning.

“Na better just give me toast babe, gym this morning” she finished and drifted in her mind back to the day ahead. Gym, followed by coffee with the girls’ then home, shower and in the city to do some well earned shopping.

Shoes, she needed a new pair of shoes for the upcoming wedding of Liam’s older sister Kathy, even though she was marrying that light weight Kevin.

Mercedes sprung out of bed when Liam told her the toast and coffee was ready, slipped her dressing gown over her taught lithe frame and admired her body with her own hands all the time vainly thinking about how lucky Liam was to have her. But damn it came at a cost, so much exercise, and a diet that would have Mr Atkins on his ass within a few days. Even with all this said, her butt cheeks were like two solid pillows of power and even more so in jeans, she had power over all that strode behind her.

She chuckled aloud to herself thinking how vain that really sounded even to her!

“What are you up to today babe, you know my day is full of gym, coffee and shopping; are you going to miss me” she said as she embraced him and kissed him full on the lips.

 “Ooooo morning breath” he said in reply to her advances, and they both laughed as she smacked him playfully on the bottom as he tried to turn and run away.

“I’m off to my gym this morning to grunt with the guys and then later we are meeting at the Havelock for a few beers and a catch up.

 Roger is back in town and we are all going to listen to his stories from his trip in Europe” he replied to her intoning the part about stories from Europe a little more to emphasis he is going to tell them all about the women he conquered while he was over there.

“Ok babe so I’ll see you what around six tonight for dinner at café Italiano then?”

“Sounds good I’ll be starving by then, oh see if you can get that romantic spot by the window” he finished with, and strode out the door on his way to an early morning session at the gym.

His sessions went on sometimes for three hours but it was mainly talk and window watching, how much weight lifting can happen with five guys working out at the same time, she thought aloud.

“Red that’s what I’ll wear to the wedding”  

She searched her memory and then her closet and found the perfect red dress but alas no perfect red heels to go with them. Changing quickly into her skin-tight workout gear Mercedes scanned the bedroom found her jeans and a black crop top, a clean bra and the tiniest panties she owned, placed them with a towel and a water bottle in her workout bag and took off for the gym.

 As she strode confidently out into the world the only thought in her head was that today was going to be a beautiful day for shopping. Punching the open lock on the car keys she slid delicately behind the wheel of her Honda civic to meet the day head on.


The leaves crackled underfoot as he strode the exactly forty seven footsteps to the outside garage. A gym bag perfectly balanced in hand, and a work uniform in suit bag hung studiously on the coat hook in the back of the Ford.

 The slight chill in the air was giving way to the morning sunshine as it streaked through the leaves and hit like thousands of spotlights on the gravel covered earth underfoot.

The body movement although tall and slim was almost feminine, but the gym clothes and muscle definition all suggested otherwise. The frame, slender and slightly elongated to the viewer housed an air of knowing within each step, yet they were swift and deliberate, like a swallow chasing a morning butterfly for breakfast.

It is a body trained and honed to perfection, calves that had more shape and strength than their subtleness implied. This body is hard and trained in more than one martial art and as deadly as it is beautiful, the androgyny of the owner hidden from most and although the masculine side was predominant, at times in its place the alter ego excelled a world of vice and deceit.

Surveying the surroundings a trait self taught over years of wanting to understand the environment he was entering, and although a vision to behold he had the capacity to be no-one in a blink of an eye.

The car in which he travelled was immaculate, black with dark grey interior and not a scratch on it, it had more compartments than applicable in a car but only he knew where they were. The interior was like a dark fortress with barely legal tinted windows, blocking all but the heartiest of light rays and stares.

The leisurely drive to the gym was uneventful and the morning radio was the only sound allowed within the confines of his moving fortress. The morning show was always good for a prank call or two and the announcers were good at throwing situations back and forth between them, which he likened to two school children allowed to banter on an open frequency.

 He allowed the vehicle to glide up the curb and into the allocated car parking area set aside for gym users, finding his usual park vacant which was  far enough away from the other cars as not to draw attention, he allowed the dark ride to drift quietly in to the space in reverse with mechanical precision.

Surveying the surroundings as he always did from this spot he was comfortable to be himself as it offered him uninterrupted views of everything and everyone as they came and went about their meaningless lives.

Mercedes pulled into one of the vacant allotted car parks, windows down and music from her connected iPhone, blurting an almost deafening blend of punk and pop she enjoyed. As the car stopped the sound of singing was evident and ‘Anthem’, by Zebrahead was being sung loud and proud as it escaped the confines of her sports car, she looked around hoping no-one was within earshot.

The sudden and eerie silence of the car park evident as she turned the ignition key and removed it from the slot scared her, but not more than the dark menacing ford parked on the opposite side of the car park.

Squinting hard trying to see if there was anyone in the car, she started having thoughts that a female alone in a car park at anytime of the day or night should not attempt,  and as she did an ice cold shiver slid down her back and she jumped like a frightened three year old when Lisa knocked abruptly on her passenger window.

“Hey Dees, c’mon your late” Lisa said as she ran past on her way towards the gyms doors. Mercedes opened the squeaky car door, slid out and raised her shoulders against the perceived chill from the previous thought, hugged her bag close and ran to the gym doors and the thought of mortal sanctuary held within.

The Fords driver side door opened slowly and a leg followed by the rest of the muscular frame slithered out in an almost reptilian way. The occupant pushed the boot button on the key chain and the tell tale pop noise was all he needed to let him know the dark space was open.

Lifting the boot lid marginally he smiled as he peered inside, noting the smell emanating from within he quickly closed the boot lid and whistled as he slid back into the car and waited.


For detective Dale Roberts it was just another very early morning and another crime scene and dead body to be processed, but this is starting to become a habit he didn’t much care for. Over the last three years there have been at least ten murders in this particular style, the M/O is always the same, but not the sex of the victim.

“What we looking at Rick?” he asked to his partner of five years, and by his reckoning, still a rookie.

Rick James is a single cop who loves his job, some would say way too much at times. An ex US Navel Police officer, he is keen and has a great eye for details but lacked what I call the important side of the job, the emotive, or empathetic side of the human psyche.

To have both, the detail and feel of the murder scene allows the mind and spirit to immerse deeply into not just the physical, but the emotional clues left behind by a murderer.

“Dead girl this time Dale, same look to it, the throat slit, red lipstick smudged all over her mouth, no rape or physical abuse other than that giant slit in her neck” Rick spoke with a monotone voice full of facts and data.

I moved in pulling the surgical latex gloves over my hands and placing blue shoe covers on as I walked into the blood soaked bed room.

The room was pretty with pastel pink wall paint and tasteful artwork on the walls as well as some strange almost purchased at a garage sale oddments placed randomly around the room.

The bed had a head board with two turned side posts and the base also had the same timber posts with four silk scarves tied firmly to each. The bindings had not been a part of the murderous act but there was evidence of blood pooling at each suggesting she at some stage suffered slight contusions at each point of the body, wrists and ankles.

The spidery tendrils of death evident on her skin in an almost hand painted way from the darkness to white pallid lustre.

Her face was a twisted effigy of loss, cast in off white porcelain, and she reminded me of one of those Goth dolls you can buy from the department stores except this was no plastic doll. The pleading and anguish on her face was evident in this victim yet again, as she must have looked into her killers’ eyes as her throat was slit.

 The weapon of choice a serrated long blade was nowhere to be found as usual, but it was common knowledge to the investigating officers it was a sharp extra heavy bladed hunting knife. It needed to be to hack as far back into the body and almost, but never fully, separate the head from the body. The blade had as in all the other murders previous, made a well defined gouge in the bone, the cut was clean and one motion, which showed great strength, but the absolute look of serenity in her eyes confused me now as it has with all the others.

 I could feel the residual malevolence in the room, but also an unnerving calm, it was like the release was a gift from a higher plane, and not just the senseless murder of another human being.

I couldn’t put my finger on it and that’s when I found the lip prints on her mouth, the red lipstick wasn’t smudged it was put there as kisses from her attacker almost as if it was foreplay or part of the sexual act itself before or during the act, as the blade was passed over and through the skin, muscle tissue and tendons of the neck.

Her clothing was still on and barely disturbed, as the angle of the folds as she lay there suggests she was sitting on the bed as someone emerged from the bathroom.

I trailed the path slowly checking the floor for any evidence as I made the delicate walk to the bathroom door. As I open the door my eyes drink in the area taking careful note of the almost pristine white surfaces, and I make a low audible ‘hum’ sound as my eyes find what they were seeking.

As usual the killer had left a partially used red lipstick on the bench top; around it the area was clean and devoid of any debris or evidence, except a few blond fibres, that the tech team will confirm later to be from an expensive wig of some sort.

“Dale, it looks eerily the same, there was very little or worse no physical struggle at all and the mobile phone is missing the sim card and been smashed beyond repair or recall as with all the others”. Rick said to me from the door.

“Rick can you make sure they bag her hands buddy, I don’t want to lose a shred of evidence from her, there is always a chance she might help us catch this animal, who knows maybe she touched whoever it was and there is saliva or fluids on her hands.”

“This is so frustrating Dale, I still can’t pinpoint in my own mind whether it’s a male or female serial.” He said frowning and rubbing his right temple in sheer frustration.

“The feel and look of the murder seems to suggest male, as does the strength, but the brutality, lipstick and the fucking heels left behind all scream female!, I just can’t read it”. He said scratching his left temple now in complete and absolute unknowing.

 “Maybe were dealing with a bit of both, Rick, who knows the trouble is, this is number ten and we are no closer to finding out who in the hell it is; all we know is that in about three months there will be another one” I commented back as I released a long, hard lungful of stale dead air.

“Ok the DI and coroners boys have this sorted, let’s get back and start looking over the hard evidence, like where she was last night, and what she was doing to end up back in her own bedroom dead.” I paused thinking and then “Oh and who the hell found her?” I asked finally.

“No-one there was a call put in this morning to 911 from this address and the boys in blue found her when they arrived to investigate.”

“I want that call Rick make sure you get me a copy, I want to put our analysts on it ASAP.” I don’t know why but I have a hunch that this call may give me more than just a voice, and this time we may just have more to work on.


The work out was intense; Mercedes was covered head to toe in a slick film of sweat from two hours of combat and spin classes. The cold water she was sipping on was refreshing her back to life after they finished, and as the rest of the girls grabbed their gear one by one they congregated out at the front foyer to chat. All of them stopped talking at once as the almost perfect specimen of a newbie glided past them to the counter.

He was tall and elegant as well as softly spoken with almost feminine mannerisms, but there was no mistaking he was male, the bulge in the front of his tight shorts gave that away.

 “Who is that” Jules asked softly. “He’s new only been here a few times but he is so damn fit.” Mandy piped in with.

“And did you see the size of that bulge in his shorts……hubba hubba”.

“Mandy get your mind out the gutter, you whore!” Mercedes interjected and they all laughed aloud as the stranger turned to see what the commotion was.

They all swallowed hard as his stare drilled them one at a time. And then he smiled so slightly, turned and left through the main entrance door.

“Damn I think I just saw an angel, and he made me wet” Mandy said as they all laughed once more.

Mercedes left with the others and one by one they made their way to the local café. It would be at least an hour before they all turned up as the team always went home for a shower afterwards, changed and then reconvened at the lakeside Café.

There was nothing quick about it!

 “I still don’t get it, we have all those showers and stuff at the gym for us to use but no-one ever uses them” she thought to herself as she walked behind Jules to the café on the lake’ time for a decent cup of coffee and some well deserved decadent cake. After all they all worked so hard for the little things in life.

The coffee was required and amazing as usual, and after they had consumed their well earned refreshment there was much debate as to whether Mandy was indeed a whore, after she spoke of her hook up the night before.

“Mandy, how do you know if these guys are ok? I mean what if something was to happen.” Jules said as she grabbed the free morning paper that had the headlines ‘Lipstick Killer strikes again’ in huge bold red type.

 With real concern on her face Jules looked down at the now solemn Mandy, but her response was loud and proud. “I wish! The guy last night may as well have been dead with all the alcohol I had to ply him with to sleep with me.”

Laughing as the dread was shattered, they broke into smaller groups and left the sacred confines of the café to continue the afternoon’s activities. Some headed home to iron and clean, others to do activities with kids, but Jules and Mercedes made their way into the city where they would shop for the next few hours before they would part ways and lead their own lives for another night.


I saw them all look at me as I stood at the counter waiting, I heard the tell tale whispers, as they looked at me in my gym gear. I am quite the sight in my tight top and skin-tight shorts with my satin g-string underneath nestled nicely between my cheeks.

Oh how I longed to be in the shadows looking at them getting changed, peeking through the door seeing the clothing slowly removed and revealing the white skin underneath. I stiffened slightly in my trousers as I felt eyes on me, Turning I looked at each of them, one at a time, and lingered on the redhead, she took my breath away, with her white skin and red hair and those beautifully placed freckles, it was like being in my dark place once more.

Closing my eyes and relished in the memories of last night, she was so beautiful so compliant, and oh so accommodating to my tastes, she made it not difficult for me at all. It never was though; she was so beautiful with her blonde hair cascading down her shoulders and the blood all down the front of her dress as she sat in my arms. Oh the joy of it. I stared at the blonde and slowly licked my lips as I turned to leave, I knew I had her in my trance; maybe she would be the next one for me to play with or better still the redhead.

I need to know more, she is defiantly a prize worth waiting for.  

The next two hours were as planned and I worked hard thinking of the bevy of beauties as my eyes were closed allowing my mind’s eye to see them and that redhead.

Finishing my usual quiet yet intense workout I strode to the change rooms, stripping, I placed my sweat laden gear neatly in the plastic bag labelled wet, and I removed the new undergarments from the bag labelled Dry. The showers were open and public not cubicles and I could tell the other older male who was just finishing his shower was looking at me as I lathered up.

Smiling I let the soap slip and fall allowing me the chance to dip and expose myself to him. I heard a nervous cough and the water turn off as his member started to grow, embarrassed he rushed out and nervously dressed to leave.

As I was now finally alone I took my time drying off. A little powder to ensure overall dryness, a spray of underarm, the scent a sweet musk and it’s always nice to feel the slight zing as the chemicals hit my perfectly shaved underarm skin.

 My uniform is still hanging nicely and I shudder oh so slightly as I slip on my satin panties feeling the sensation surround my manhood and then quickly dress in silence as I perform my own ritual of left foot, right foot for socks and shoes.

Leaving, I wave and smile politely as I walk slowly but deliberately towards my perfectly placed car. My right hand slides in the front right pocket of my pressed trousers searching for the plastic and metal device that is attached to my car and home keys. I find the almost oval shaped plastic, feel for the bottom button and gently push as I stand transfixed in my spot by the blinking lights as they flash.

The ‘clunk’ sound of the electronic locks opening startle me out of my trance and I open the door as I slide into the driver’s seat, the smell hit me first, and I turned pulling down the centre seat as the intensity of the stench danced on my tongue. All was still well if not smelly as my package in the boot was still quiet and restful.

He was still alive of course but bound and gagged as well as being wrapped in plastic. I noticed his skin was starting to wrinkle as his fluids leached out from the heat of the sealed eco system that bubbled in and around his body.

I was so proficient at tying them up now, that he was so far gone, his limbs would by now be useless and numb, and no movement possible, therefore no chance of anything other than him dying on me, but the fact that he had shit his pants was more than a mite disturbing.

“You are such a pig” I said as I adjusted the rear view mirror and chanced a look into the dark confines of the trunk compartment.

“Not long now my little friend and you can join your girl, but first I must have some fun, you understand don’t you?” I drove off and made my way to my shift thinking about red hair and freckles!

Chapter 3 -Amy

Dale and Rick made their way to the coroners’ office in an unusual but palpable silence as both men were racking their brains as to how they were going to catch this particularly elusive killer.

Turing into a Starbucks Dale motioned the vehicle to the drive thru and ordered the coffee and banana bread for a makeshift breakfast of champions.

Taking off after the breakfast delights were purchased they settled into a more normal if not slightly surreal routine.

“Ok so this is what we have so far, at five fifteen pm she finished work and made her way to her mothers, where she was last seen by any family. At approximately six forty five she stopped to fill up with petrol at the shell station on Wiltshire, where we have her on surveillance camera then on home to shower and change, for dinner with her boyfriend.” Rick was reading notes from his pad.

“Ok so, any sign of the boyfriend?” Dale asked.

“Nope nothing, his car was still outside her place from around seven thirty pm as the next door neighbour said he let the dog out the front for a pee and ‘Big Bang’ was just starting on the TV.” Rick finished. He took a deep breath, looked at Dale and started singing

“Soft kitty, warm kitty.” Shut up Rick. “Oh c’mon man I love that song now, and the Penny chick is hot.” The car fell silent once more.

I looked at Rick sideways but tried to keep my eyes on the road, “So we have a boyfriend but no body, his car is still there and we are waiting for the prints to be dusted, a blonde dead, neck sliced almost clean through, a pair of red heels and red lippy, and nothing else?” Rick looked back at him and said “that sums it up nicely old boy.”

“Hey enough of the old will ya” I said and smiled. “Ricky we gotta get this son of a bitch, I don’t want to tell anyone else their daughter or sons are dead only to end up subjecting them to weeks of forensic tests before they can bury their child.” He finished now the smile wiped from his face.

“I know buddy, we’ll get whoever it is, if it’s the last thing you do!” he chuckled as he said it but behind the nervous chuckle was an understanding, that could be twenty years from now.


Mercedes and Jules walked the city mall and took in the sights and the smells, all the different cafes and so on that was serving everything from cakes to spectacular Indian curries. Her stomach growled for real food, but she knew if she was to keep that figure she would need to be a good girl, so she and Jules went to a Hudson’s and ordered a skinny late to go each, and made their way to their favourite shopping destination for shoes. 

Now ‘ZU’ is not your average shop it’s a wonderland of heeled heaven, and if you believe Mercedes every pair you try on makes you smile like the Cheshire Cat.

“Oh My God, Jules do you see those two tone beauties in the window.” She said with an air of excitement in her voice that made her sound like an eight year old girl all over again who had just spotted the newest Barbie doll.

“Damn girl those heels are at least six inches high.” Jules reply was always curt but well meaning.

 “Yes I know, but look at them they’re platforms and just so beautiful, and look they are my fav’ color, red to match my hair.” Mercedes went on as they laughed together.

The two women excitedly walked in the store of wonderment and immediately sought out the assistant, a tall beautiful thirty something woman who looked immaculate in her black uniform with red trim and wearing the most ridiculous six inch heels imaginable, which if you think about it are almost a must if you work in a shop that sells outrageously amazing high heeled shoes and boots.

“Is there anything in particular I can assist you two beautiful ladies with this fine day.” The assistant almost moaned in pleasure at them, making Mercedes almost swoon as she allowed herself to drink in her feminine allure.

“Can I try the ones in the window display in a seven please?” she asked and sat on the fake leather cushioned seating waiting for the box of colourful heeled goodies to be brought out to her.

As they waited Jules was spying the other goodies on show when she was overcome by the thought that someone was watching her.

 Her breath was stolen from her as her eyes were distracted for a moment by a silhouette standing in the darkness at the back of the store. She froze, and the hair on her neck slowly lifted and sat straight causing her to make an audible sound as she gasped for air. The shape quickly blended into the darkness and was gone.

 “What do you think Jules” Mercedes asked as she stood now in front of a mirror looking at her legs in the impossibility high six inch platforms.

As if in shock Jules glanced down at the shoes on Mercedes feet and then back to the darkness at the back of the shop, but it was obvious no-one was there.

“They look amazing babe” she said not physically looking.

“Are you ok Hun you look like you have seen a ghost!” and with that comment Jules snapped back into reality.

 “No, I’m fine M; it’s just, well, I thought I saw someone I knew is all.”

The shop assistant looked at the vacant area and looked at Jules saying. “There is no-one else here except myself and Dana my colleague, you must be seeing shadows”. Brenda the name on her tag said and the other assistant Dana was busy serving other customers only feet away.

“Yes! I must be” she said aloud, but not convincing herself.


The Body was laid out naked on the cold metal table and the three incisions were made before they made it back to the lab. The bone cutters and rib spreaders were already being used and Rick winced as he heard the bone give way and the outside of the rib cage removed.

The coroner, Doctor Stephen Lucas was already in mid sentence as they made their way in and he held up a finger to ensure they were silent as he finished his initial findings.

Dr Lewis pushed the stop button on his digital recorder and hesitated before he realized a handshake would probably not be called for since his gloves were covered in the young woman’s bodily fluids.

“Well detectives you will be glad to know there was no sexual disruption but there was some sexual activity, but I do not think it was just pre or post mortem.” I think if we can find the boyfriend it will be his semen I found and by the amount it was a while before the death because there was only minute traces.” He explained as he removed the young woman’s heart and lungs and weighed them for the records.

 “So, any traces of latex or lubricant doctor?” Rick asked being thorough.

“No not as yet, detective I will send the swabs off to forensics so we can have trace work done on the standard areas.” He concluded.

Dale looked at her, still with that serine look on her face. Her body white and pallid with the effects of death so evident, the relaxing of muscles and pooling of blood, as well as the body fats yellow and the starting of decay as the physical being is trying to return itself to the world it was once born into.

“Steve can you also do a full blood work toxic screen etcetera, something just doesn’t feel right.” He said and the doctor replied. “Ah yes the look on her face, you think drugs?”

“Possibly, she looks far too, out of it or even in a state of complete bliss, and that just should not be, this young lady had her head almost severed completely.…..Just doesn’t make any sense Steve.” I attempted to explain my motives.

The cut was hard, fast and vicious just like the others.

 “So are we looking at the same perp, doc?” Rick piped in!

“I do believe so, the angle and ferocity of the slicing action is the exact same angle, slightly motioning up towards the right eye suggesting a right handed assailant, and powerful………..but there is one thing that bothers me, the same marks are on the feet as with all the others, not ligature marks but there is the same bruising either side of the ankle.” I looked over at my partner and then back at the doctor.

“Thanks Steve, as always it’s not a pleasure.” I said as I turned to leave nodding at Steve.

“Feelings mutual gentlemen, I would rather we met under more serine surroundings, say the pub with two fingers of scotch and a port wine cigar.” He finished.

“Oh Steve can you check the nails, and hands as well and let me know the results, I don’t know why but I get the feeling there is something we are missing.”

As we walked out I waved my left hand above my head in a gesture of goodbye and exited with my partner in front as the Doctor turned on the recording device and continued on with his work.

Doctor Lewis finished his examination of the body by late afternoon and all the evidence bags were tagged sealed and ready, the body closed with all organs placed back inside the accommodating cavity. He walked to the intercom system by the working desk and pushed the button.

 “Amy is Dennis in yet, I need him to collect the body for me and take it to the cold room.” A slight pause and she came on line. “Yes I think he’s here Doctor I’ll find him and send him in.

Dennis Sanchez walked down the long white hall with doors either side, it was like a hospital in many ways, but behind the doors were fascinating things, some contained hundreds of thousands of dollars worth of equipment that he knew how to operate or help operate, others were locked cold rooms where the bodies of the deceased were kept if there was any thought of foul play or in those cases where a cause of death was not readily determined.

 As he wandered down the off white linoleum road to his next destination his thoughts drifted off to the bodies he saw every day, and he wondered if one day he would end up in here, cold and no longer required by the warmth of day, to spend an eternity in a cold room dissected, body parts removed to try and determine a brain tumour, a heart defect or kidney failure. What if he was dead as result of foul play? The thought made him smile to himself.

“Dennis!” a woman’s voice drew him back outside his mind.

“Yes Amy, what can I do for you today?” he asked quietly and with little or no inflection.

“The Doctor needs your help to take a body to the cold room; he’s in op ‘seven B’ down the hall.” She finished.

“Ok on my way now he said as he slapped the top of the desk……oh Amy who is on late with me tonight?”

Checking the schedule attached to her clip board she looked up and caught Dennis looking at her ample cleavage in her tight top. She looked up at him and smiled a sly crooked smile and said.

“You’re on your own big boy, just you and security after nine pm.” Dennis turned and winked at Amy and smiled as he made his way to seven B and Doctor Stephen Lucas, forensic pathologist. Again smiling he thought to himself, it played out like one of those TV shows in his mind and he started singing a classic ‘Who’ song to himself and casually walked into the room quietly and without announcement as the red light was on, which meant the good Doctor could be recording his findings, which he was.

He waved Dennis in and kept talking,

 “Apart from the lethal damage caused by the unknown bladed instrument the body is relatively unscathed.” Doctor Lucas finished his sentence and turned off the digital recorder and removed his gloves. With a flick he placed then in the hazmed garbage bag and walked over to the wash-up sink.

 “How are we today Dennis” he asked.

“I’m fine thank you for asking Doctor Lucas….um what would you like me to do for you today sir.” I always played the part, feeding the doctors ego, he appreciated it and it always brought a smile to his face and because of it he treated me well.

He never looked down on me like some others did, and he even sometimes allowed me to assist in an autopsy if there were no real time constraints or a mad rush for results. I learnt so much from my time with the doctor, how to hold a scalpel properly so you don’t make a jagged cut, and the importance of a single cut, not lots of smaller ones.

“Oh Dennis no need to be so formal son, if you could clean up for me and take this unfortunate young lady to the cold room, that would be appreciated……but don’t put her away just yet leave her out so I can have another look tomorrow quickly if anything new turns up from the samples I took from her today and at the crime scene”. He concluded as he wiped his now clean and lathered hands.

I picked up the good doctors discarded wipes and placed them into the waste for him.

“Not a problem Doc, anything for you!” I moved around to where he was and started to clean up the utensils for sterilization and all the linen for destruction or cleaning.

 “I’m off my boy, you have a good night and if you get a chance, can you copy my dictation of the autopsy to the hard drive for me and edit out the dead space, but only if you get time.” He said as he patted me on the shoulder smiled and left the room.

I was alone at last, just the way I liked it, I made sure I had everything and gathered up all the disposable linen for the furnace and the utensils on a stainless steel carry tray were placed into a ‘to be sterilised’ bag, that I had to be careful with to be place in the unit a bit later so they were spotless and free from any contaminates, laid out and ready again for the morning.

I moved slowly steeling a glance at the beautiful dead young woman on the table, a small chill of excitement came over me, and I did a double take to see if anyone was watching me from outside, the cameras were turned off now as I had turned them off as part of my daily job at this hour. The thick stitches just below her collar bones were visible and I imagined what it would be like to cut open such a beautiful human being.

At twenty four Dennis was well educated and had come from a strict Christian upbringing, his mother was a kind and caring woman who loved nothing more than to help others in the local community. He remembered the day when his mother brought home a new pushbike just for Dennis to use, it was blue with a glitter red swirl pattern on the frame. It was so beautiful.

But his memory was then pushed aside by the fact his mother had left on his tenth birthday. His father also a devout Christian and worshiper of the god almighty and his son Jesus Christ drove his wonderful mother away with his evil and hate of all things nice in life, except the two bottles of whiskey each day he would consume.

The trouble was the courts made him stay with his father and sister because he had income and a roof over his head that was close to his school and the lawyers said it would be better not for the children to suffer the upheaval of moving and new schools.

His mother tried to keep them but she had to move away to live with aunt Jane as she had no income at all and the meagre allowance she was given by father was barely enough to compensate her for all the lost years of her life at the mercy of the drunken bastard that was his father.

It was after his mothers departure that Dennis found out the façade he was living with his parents, his father on the surface and outwardly to others was a beautiful devout Christian, but in reality he a was a cruel and ruthless alcoholic who would threaten and beat him and his sister.

Eve was three years older that Dennis and he still firmly remembers the tragic day when she died, she had left him all alone and he missed and hated her all at the same time.

 He had been told she had been involved in an accident, but he found out later that at age sixteen she took every pill she could find in the house, sat in her car in the garage and used it as an escape craft.

Dennis hated his father for taking his mother and sister and his demeanour instead of mellowing changed for the worse and he would pray to his bottle all night every night to save his soul from the damnation of hell for what he had done. It was years later he would find out his father had been molesting his sister in his drunken rages after he would beat Dennis to sleep.

The best day of his short life was the one when he had found him dead in his bed on his eighteenth birthday, I only stayed and endured the beatings and hate because one day I knew I would be able to help my dead sister and my now dead mother by removing the vile waste that was my maker from this world. The police reports say he choked on his own vomit as he slept, but god and I know different.


I slipped, slightly stumbling, my mind not concentrating on the job as I recalled my disturbing life, and I dropped the tray of instruments and implements.

They hit the floor and the sound shattered my thoughts back to reality and as I bent over and cleaned up the metallic mess.  My now plagued thoughts drifted back to the girl on the table.

Walking and placing the tray and its contents on the cart I covered her face as I unlocked the wheels and took hold of the push bar, using my legs, I pushed the table and with it my new dead friend out of the automatic doors and down the corridor towards the cold storeroom.

I thought I saw her arm shift under the cotton sheet and it startled me making my whole body shake and jolt into an upright position as I let go of the now slowly rolling table.

 Just the body warming up and letting go of gasses I thought to myself, rigor mortis leaving the body, muscles slowly relaxing as putrefaction was taking hold.

After pulling myself together and carefully placing her in the cold room, I made my way slowly back to op seven B and collected all the linen and anything else that was destined for the furnace and proceeded toward the service elevator at the end of the corridor.

I punched the call button and my brain phased out whilst listening to the music in my own head as the audible ‘bing’ of the lift heralded its arrival. I retreated into my thoughts again, entering the lift and pushing the button I watched it glow red around the disc as its electronic magic set my goal for the basement.

I lost myself again and hummed along to ‘the girl from Ipanema’ in the tight confines of the lift as it descended into the dark warmth that is the basement of the building.

The door opened and the moist warmth hit me immediately, the giant industrial washing machines standing and moaning in line were spinning and dryers tumbling, as well as the medical waste ovens blasting creating warmth and moisture all in the one confined space, making for an ideal hang out in winter.

 I threw the dirty linen in a huge wash basket that would automatically be placed into a machine and then placed into an industrial dryer, I wish I had one of these at home.

 I gathered up my destruction items and walked over to the high intensity furnace, it is a three stage unit that has an area you can open to dispose of small items, a door that could be opened to accommodate larger cumbersome items, and a fully automatic mode that was only ever used if there was an uncollected body, such as a homeless person who had died. These poor unfortunates that no-one collected all ended their final life trip in our furnace.

I threw the items in the fire and watched them catch alight and disappear into flaming nothingness, and I just stood for what seemed like an eternity but in fact it must have been only a few seconds staring into the dancing flames consumed in thought by the flickering amber light as it set my mind racing and as a hint of an idea hit me, I started dreaming of what it would be like to watch Amy burn.


Chapter 4 – WHY!

I followed the two women for what seemed like hours, shopping and drinking coffee, the shoe store was a close call but I couldn’t help myself, I had to see her one more time before I had to leave.
My friend in the boot is starting to stink up the car. Making my way quickly out the emergency escape I moved quietly toward my vehicle, all the time knowing no-one would ever bother to stop and ask me what I was doing.
My uniform made my life easy for me at times and this would prove no exception. I am not a huge ominous figure and I am easily forgotten amongst others. I have learnt in my short time on this planet how to move between places and public arenas, unseen and inconspicuous, so as not to stand out in a crowd, but at times the more you stand out from a distance, the better it is for you especially if your presence disarms or relaxes people.
My security guard uniform is just the ticket and the job at the coroner’s office is always handy for me especially when I have to dispose of my own medical waste. My shift starts at six pm so I’ve still got a good two hours and a young man to kill, so my time will be well spent.
Driving with the windows down now as the smell was starting to become sweet and pungent, I started to whistle a tune I must have remembered in my subconscious.  I am sure it was from ‘Snow White’ that’s it! It’s the song the little people sang on the way to the mines. I whistled louder now somewhat inhibited by the smile that was generating all by itself as I whistled and a sense of fun overtook my being. I love my life and I started singing aloud as I pulled off the main road to a secluded area of coast line that was part of the river system only thirty minutes out of the city.
The best thing about ‘White Cliffs’ as they are locally known was that the area I was stopping in and turning off the car was hardly noticeable from a distance, and any vehicle on the approach was easily identified and my departure easy.
 I found the spot near a patch of three trees I called my place, and parked up. Now I must say it’s difficult at the best of times to keep my uniform clean, especially since I have to wear a white long sleeved shirt, and powder blue tie. So tacky I know.
 So I always carry these one piece cleaner’s overalls that I steal from work. The cleaners have to pick up some pretty disgusting stuff sometimes especially if they get a burned body or a roof top suicide on the table, now that’s a mess.
I slipped them over my clothes and zipped the front all the way up and placed the hood over my head.  As I moved towards the rear of my Ford I placed my goggles on my head and left the lenses up for now I hate how they get fogged so easily once you start exerting yourself and get a little sweat on.
Damn I love my car it’s spacious without being too big if you know what I mean and it has enough boot space for a large male victim, I chuckled to myself smiling, as I lifted the boot lid.
A sudden movement, as my occupant lashed out at me from inside, trying to catch me unawares with his feet, but I have had too many close calls to be caught out like that.
“Now don’t be so nasty.” I said to my occupant as I hit him on the knee with a rather large well weighted ball-pein hammer softly. A moan followed by more muffles as he tried to say how much he was going to kill me.
I removed the gag being cautious of his teeth as I did so as to better understand my captive. I left his eyes covered for the moment as he spat into the boot and through a glue residue covered mouth, and he did indeed start telling me he was indeed going to kill me.
I walked around so I had a better view of the situation and told my new play thing to “Shut the fuck up!” I hit him again with the hammer and said.
“Now, you and I are going to make this easy on us both or it will get messy and although I have the back of the car lined with a special plastic made for handling dead bodies it could still make a mess, and I do not want mess in my car.”
The man started talking about how much money he had and if I let him go bla, bla, bla.
“You do know I have done this before and nothing you can say will stop me from ending your life now shut up because I have to be at work soon.” I said as I walked to the side of the boot where his head was.
He was crying and whimpering and I could see the piss and shit stains in the wrap that I had him in all day and last night.
 “My god you’re ripe, and I don’t have a change of clothes for you, ah well it will all have to go in the Furness with you.” I looked down at my pathetic subject and he stopped moving or talking, he just gave up at the horror of realization that he was going to die and be cremated. “I don’t want to die.” He said softly to me almost pleadingly.
“Well I’m sorry but your girlfriend is already with her maker and I can’t leave you to point me out now can I?”
“You remember the blood? All that blood and how beautiful she looked in that red lipstick and those fantastic heels, my cock rubbing all over her red lips, the smearing of her lipstick.” My member was starting to gain purchase on my underpants and strain inside my pants as I thought about the moment I slit her throat and watched her die. He started to whimper and cry, like the little baby he is, I hate that so much.
“Oh for Christ sake shut up! You cry baby, take your life ending like a man or I’ll make it hurt even more, before you die, and I don’t want to do that as I have to get back and start my shift in less than an hour, so buck up old boy and take your medicine like a man.” I paced back and forth prowling like a Tiger looking for the best first spot.
“Now it’s your turn to die my friend, but the problem is no-one will ever know what happened to you, you see you are just going to disappear, people will blame it all on you, not because you murdered her, no, but because you’re not around to prove otherwise, so even if the cops know it’s me, her family will blame you forever.” I finished.
“You talk too much, just get on with it.” He said solemnly from the confines of the dark space.
“That’s better have some dignity man” I said as I placed the gag back in his mouth and tied it tight.
The flurry of hits was brutal almost choreographed to a concerto in my head. The blows were a blur to the naked eye, and the body in the boot was quickly turning into a viscous pulverized sack of meat and fluids after five minutes of my brutal assault on every part of his body.
Not a single bone was left unbroken and the skull an unrecognizable bowl of brain soup. A piece of vita flew up and hit my mouth and as I licked I tasted the death that was my doing and I craved for the release that would be mine soon, the shadows of my mind crept in and comforted me as blow after blow landed, and I knew that my world, the darkness was an amazing place to be.
I cleaned up the mess by wrapping the plastic into a perfect bundle and with the special tape and ties I had stolen my meat parcel was contained and in place and as always my boot was a pristine carpet of dark beauty with a sack of depleted human detritus upon it.
I cleaned myself up and used the baby wipes on my face and hands after removing the gloves quickly as the powder inside them mixes with my sweat and dies out my skin and if I am not careful I get a nasty rash.
The overalls were placed in a separate smaller plastic bag, with the word evidence marked on it, another gift from his work. A quick spray with Old Spice underarm and some aftershave removed all knowledge that I was busy for an hour or so removing more waste from the world for my own benefit. I simply love those commercials for Old Spice they are so clever and funny. I ensured I looked as good as I did when I got there, and readied for the drive to work.
Now most people you glance at in your car as you drive along look normal or simply annoyed as they are stuck in traffic, but still normal, I bet no-one looks at me on the drive to work and thinks there goes a serial killer look at those close set eyes the knowing smirk. No they all look at me seeing a security guard, their saviour their hero if only they knew. I started whistling and singing again.
Jules made her way home with her purchases and found the house empty; my live in lover is out with the boys at the game and probably would not be home for another hour at least.
Walking up the stairs to my bedroom, I felt a cold tinge in the back of my neck as I recalled the shadow I swore was staring directly at me in the shoe shop, and then nothing, the assistant said there was nothing back there but I went to look for myself while Mercedes was still busy trying on more shoes, I just had to see for myself and to my surprise I was met by a locked emergency exit door.
“I must be getting jumpy in my old age” I said out aloud to myself sighing. I walked through the door over to the bed sat down. Sitting on the edge of the bed I took out and looked at the hot yellow top and black skirt I had purchased today, my god I love shopping, and with Merc it is always so much fun, she always knows the right thing to say to make me buy clothes and not feel guilty.
I placed the items on to separate clothes hangers and removed my new runners from the confines of their cardboard box, awesome new Asics gel X-trainers for the gym and in an awesome shade of orange my favourite color. I placed them at the bottom of my wardrobe and started to remove my top slowly pulling it over my head; I threw it into the perfectly placed wash basket I put upstairs because ‘you know who, Mr. I’ll bring then down in a minute’ doesn’t know how to put clothes anywhere other than the floor!
I turned and sat in one swift movement and leant down as I removed my open toe heels I had on, not too high and comfortable, black to match my skirt and as I stood up the aforementioned skirt fell to the floor by my ankles. Standing now in nothing but my bra and panties I grabbed my towelling dressing gown I use after showers to keep me warm as well as dry and sauntered into the bath room.
 Removing my bra I feet gravity take control of my ample but not overly inflated natural breasts, the cool air also circulating under the folds for the first time since this morning felt good and as I bent over to slide of my panties.
Out of nowhere I felt cold hands on my hips! Grabbing and pulling me backwards, oh shit I am off balance.
I screamed and remembered my self defence classes, I rammed my head back and up as hard as I could and with my right fist clenched and elbow ready I used my eft hand as an engine to pump my elbow hard in an upward and backward motion and I stumbled as it slammed as hard as I could action into my assailants solar plexus rendering them disabled for the precious seconds I would need to get away. 
“JULES” I heard as the figure moan from behind me struggle to say as they hit the floor hard and struggled for air as I was half way out the room.
“Oh shit, Gavin is that you?” I had just destroyed my boyfriend and live in lover in the space of three seconds.
Blood was pouring from his nose and he was grabbing at his chest trying to breathe through his mouth.
“Jesus! I’m sorry babe, but you scared the living shit out of me!” I yelled at him as he passed out.
“OH my god Jules you did what?”
“Is he OK?”
“Alright you sort the ambulance out and I’ll talk with you in the morning, love you babe”
I hung up from Jules and Told Liam what had happened and he was glad that he wasn’t going out with some mad female Bruce Lee, kung fu chick.
“It sounds like she really did some damage to him.” I told him. He looked at me gently with false sorrow in his eyes and said “I love you snuggle bunny but don’t go getting ideas of boyfriend abuse.” And he threw the tea towel at me.
“Now are we still doing café Italiano for dinner?” He said as I straightened up and tossed the moist cotton wad back at him.
“How about we do Indian? Chinese...?” I waited and all I got was a shake of the head.
“How about we go to the beach and grab a burger and fries?” he said as he picked up the keys.
“No! I don’t feel like that babe.” I said. “Hey how about we compromise there is a Hoggs Breath Cafe down on Main north road, you know just past the intersection, and you can have a steak or burger and I can have a salad and some fried prawns!” he thought about it and smiled walking towards me keys in hand and he kissed me on the forehead and said “Get your coat on babe, I feel like some meat.”
The wrapped parcel of tenderized human remains in the boot would have to wait until lunch break at around midnight. No-one else is doing much by then and it’s only normally me after ten anyway because that half whit Dennis leaves right on the stroke of ten pm.
 I settled in placed my bag in my locker compartment locked the padlock and proceeded to do my walk around and shift change update with Bert, he is such a lovely guy, late forties single, drinks like a fish all night remembering his life as it used to be when his family were alive.
Taken from him some ten years ago in a car accident, lost his wife and two kids I think a boy and girl. Poor bastard! Ah well better that I suppose, than letting someone like me enjoy them. 
Bert packed and left for his heavy night of drinking and I started my rounds keeping to the shadows, I liked being able to creep up on people seeing how close I could get without them seeing me, it was not only good practice but a shit load of fun, and I would often get Dennis as he sat at break or when he was cleaning up after the doctors, like the good little lackey boy he is.
 I have no idea what his story is and don’t particularly care in reality, I just can’t wait today until midnight when I can get rid of that sack of shit in my car.
With the cleanup work done I made my way back to the cool room to check on my new friend, I know she’s not going anywhere soon but she was is so white and pale, I love white skin but this was a tad china dollish even for me.
I left the elevator on the main floor and walked towards the cool room and her table and my heart was pounding in my chest, for some reason the closer I got the more intense the feelings. I softly and delicately slid the sheet back and looked at her beautiful face as if not to wake her. She was so peaceful, but there was something odd about her face and I wondered what the last thing her eyes saw before she died. Without consciously realising it, my left hand slid the cotton cover back a little further.
I was mesmerised and my right index finger danced softly over the bumpy stitches on her collarbone and traced a slow line to her chest between her breasts. The skin was almost alien to the touch and her skin taught with cold, the nipples were hard and straining as my finger traced over it and my penis felt a rush of blood, my ears were filled with a heartbeat concerto that almost threatened to block the world out, I started to slide my hand further down toward her belly button.............
“HEY! What do you think you’re doing you little pervert”
I jumped! And a slight audible noise left my lips in surprise. He is always creeping up on me the dumbass security guard. I know he hates me and now he caught me with her.
“What in the world do you think you’re doing Dennis...And why is there a circus tent pitched in your trousers?” he said to me.
I quickly pulled the cover back up and moved towards the door.
“I’m just putting her in here for Doctor Lucas.” I said to him.
 “Oh and did he tell you to play with her tits and check out her pussy while you’re at it, you pervert.” He started taunting me and without looking at him I made my way out of the cool room and make my way to the doctors’ office so I could work on his dictation of the autopsy for him, I could still hear him laughing at me as I closed the door behind me.
“Prick” I said to myself now ashamed at being caught.
My penis was still thumping in my pants and my heart raced, I didn’t even hear him coming, he is such a sneaky bastard.
I grabbed a coffee and settled in to the desk placed my Bluetooth Beats headphones on and closed my eyes as I masturbated with the door shut listening to the doctors voice and thinking of her dead milky white cold skin, there would always be time later when he’s not around to visit my princess again.

Chapter 5 – Disposal

I drifted through the shadows along the main hallway being as quiet as I could, practice makes perfect I always say.
I could hear slight footfalls and I stopped as the cleanup crew, consisting solely of that weirdo Dennis, removed all the crap and my beautiful handiwork from the previous night on a metal autopsy trolley and placed her lifeless husk into the cold store room. I watched him as he left and slowly walked into the dark cold space that was filled with the remnants of a life that once was, now a noted life that I took.
I wish I had my lipstick on me, but hey you can’t have your cake and eat it all of the time. I mean who else gets to murder a pretty girl and then visit her afterwards so you can see your own handiwork, your craft as still life perfection. I peered through the doorway and saw that pervert touching my beautiful artwork, running his hands all over her smooth cold skin, her face a picture of pure white as if all the color was removed from a digital picture with a cream hue just showing through.
Damn I wish I had my lipstick on me, she would be such a beautiful willing participant and the contrast from that white skin to my ruby red lipstick. A shudder ran up my spine as my testicles tightened and I slowly slid in behind Dennis, watching as he was now molesting my dead love.
I called out to him from the shadows, calling him a pervert, and as he turned knowingly to leave I could see the effect my dead princess had on his groin and I mocked him for it.
He sped past me after covering her up and ran out towards the doctors’ offices where I heard a door slam and him muttering to himself.
After a few minutes when I knew he would not come back tentatively moved to the table and pulled the cover sheet back and drank in the after-effects of my work.
She was so beautiful and yet I did not know her name, I looked at her hands and withdrew my trusty pocket knife and scraped under her nails to remove any residual me that may be on them. I knew I had all the time in the world and finished the job properly, placed her hands back, lent in and kissed her gently on the forehead as I pulled the sheet up and over her face just as a slow hiss of gas escaping from her body filled the silence. Dirty girl, I thought as I watched the warmth of my breath create a visible exhale from my lips. Shuddering again but this time from the cold I once more found the darkness of the shadows and exited the room.
I finally finished my appointed and rostered rounds and sat back until ten thirty rolled on by, and then making my way to my car through a fire safety access door I went to see my battered friend as he lay in the boot of my car. Using a gurney from the op rooms and some ropes I rolled the heavy sloppy bundle onto the mobile table and off I trotted, after making sure to relock the access door, down to the furnace located in the basement.
I whistled as I walked the halls knowing that I was safe as there would be no one else here now until at least Six a.m. at my own shift change over.
The lift carried me down into the depths once again and I relished in the darting half light and moist heat as I moved toward the large oven, the smell of death and excreta strong as a few small holes let the stewing eco system out into the surrounding atmosphere.
You gotta love automatic ovens that can burn hot enough to turn a human into a pile of ashes within a few minutes, and I stood transfixed by the sheer awe of the mechanical blasphemy that was mine to command.
I sloshed the bag onto the loading table and I could not help myself from taking a last peek at my handwork with my favourite hammer. There is something almost erotic about killing someone with your own hands up close and personal, almost like kissing them as you reach the pinnacle of excitement as you climax into another person’s body cavity.
I caught what I thought was a glimpse of what looked to be an eye staring at me, so I blew a kiss and waved bye bye to my friend as he made his slow yet completely solemn journey into the cremation section of the furnace, along with any and all evidence and clothing that I had accumulated both before and during his demise.
The viewing window was aflame in seconds after I hit the switch to seal the area, the plastic split silently as if an earthquake had happened across its dry crusty surface spilling the boiling and bubbling contents onto the metal surface causing it to dissolve instantly into a vapour that went up through the air filters capturing all the nasty smells before it hit the outside venting systems. Such a satisfying day it was!
Dennis watched as the solitary figure of the security guard he despised so much fiddled with the boot of his car. He should have been at home already, but the night was so nice, peaceful and quiet he sat and smoked a cigarette or two, as he sat in his black commodore. The car was not new but the old girl was a classic and still held up well and did all that was required of her and was reasonably reliable.
Nothing like the brand new Ford G6E FPV the security guy was driving, “Why don’t I know his fucking name” I thought to myself now taking control of the unfolding events in my own mind.
I quickly butted my cigarette to remove the red smouldering glow from inside the cabin and slumped down watching him slide a pile of something onto a gurney, my mind raced but the shape was all wrong a human has form and shape, this was just a bag of something probably old clothes and shit, but it was heavy gauging in the effort he used to roll the item on the portable table. He started whistling as he locked the car and pushed the gurney back inside to I can only assume dispose of his bundle.
Not feeling tired I waited for him to move back inside before I flicked my now deceased butt in the bushes and making for the “Griffins Head” in the city. It’s only a short drive down South Terrace and on to Poultney Street and in less than ten minutes I would have a cold beer in my hand.
As I drove I listened to the dulcet tunes of Triple M bagging out a Bon Jovi classic, ‘Living on a prayer’, my mind drifted back to the porcelain princess and I realized something that I had only fantasized about now for years, I always knew I was different, somehow quieter than others sure I had had girlfriends and sex before and it never really worked out for me, I tend to close up and push people away, but her she was amazing so beautiful so compliant so clean. That’s when I knew!
 I wanted one for myself!
Mercedes and Liam arrived at Hogs Breath and she was dressed to kill, a tight pair of jeans, killer ankle boots and a red blouse that had a hint of transparency in the right light. Her hair was tousled just right and full with a slight twist curl that fell effortlessly across her face, but in no way diminished her huge smile. All eyes were on her as they entered;
 “Good evening table for two” a waitress said to Liam as they walked up to the dining area.
“Yes please” he replied and they were shown to their table. Once they had settled down and ordered drinks Liam looked at her quizzically!
“You went shopping didn’t you? Ah that explains the smile” he looked her up and down not noticing anything new on her.
“What was it a bag, Shoes? More jeans?” he said with a huge grin now taking over his chiselled face.
“Shoes” I said in a flurry of self indulgence but they are for going out in”.
 “So what do you call this” Liam said now making a frowny face. She didn’t mind because at six feet four inches tall and built like a Greek god he was still a handsome specimen, and when he is naked it’s like studying a marble statue every visible muscle defined and toned and as strong as an ox. She loved him for his brain but also his looks, and what that boy could do with his tongue well she never will tell.
 “Ok so yes I did get some shoes and I have to tell you they are to die for! And if you’re a good boy I just might let you see them later.” I finished with a wink.
“So have you heard how Gavin is after his run in with Jules Lee” Liam asked.
“I think he’s fine but his ego took a bigger battering than him at the hospital when he had to answer questions about how it happened.”
The conversation undulated up and down as the meals were consumed, and I love those curly fries, they remind me of little piggy tails.
My mind drifted off at one stage between the main course and desert as my mind remembered the encounter that morning with the black Ford, and how creepy it made me feel.
“You ok babe” Liam asked me. “Yeah I was just remembering a car this morning at the gym it was nothing but….I swear someone was in there looking at me.” I replied in a cold voice.
“Did you get the plates” he replied in such a boy way. “No I did not get the plates I am not 007.” I said as I hit him with my napkin.
I then for some reason thought of the guy at the counter this morning he was so angelic almost androgynous in his features, so well defined yet smooth and those eyes so unknowing and, well sexy.
Dennis ordered another drink, his last as it was now getting upward of midnight. The last drink was a Jack’s straight up with just a hint of ice. He noticed the surly blonde at the other end of the bar, and he was well aware that she had noticed him as well. The late night prostitute made her way on slightly unsteady feet towards me.
 “Wanna buy me a drink big boy” she said as she smiled at me, baring the whitest teeth I had ever seen. Before I could say no she was moving a bar stool over to where I was seated.
“Hi I’m Jasmine” she said holding out her hand. “Dennis” I replied shaking her lithe hand softly.
“Dennis hey, how would you like to take me home with you tonight? And I won’t charge you full price coz it’s getting late, or should I say early” she concluded. My crotch jumped as she leant in and her ample breasts teased the blood to my circumcised helmet. I thought about that beautiful doll on the metal table and said.
“Ok let’s go now before I change my mind.”
I grabbed her arm and I whisked her outside to my car, all the time all she could do was tell me how she was doing me a favour and the price would be right and special just for me, Yeah right!.
I nodded and said “Fine, but shut up and let me stop at an ATM for some cash” and then she could have her three hundred bucks and a hot shower.
I found a machine on Port road and quickly withdrew five hundred as I knew I would need cash the next day and with some luck this stupid cow would be lucky if I gave her two hundred the way her mouth carries on.
I had to endure my luck and the price and how good it was going to be for a further ten minutes until I finally pushed the garage door remote button and glided into my slice of sanctuary and the door closed behind me.
As she went to open the passenger side door of the car I grabbed her by the shoulder, turned her around and made to kiss her.  My head was bouncing and being bombarded by a flurry of emotions and my heart was now commanding my actions, all I wanted was to be loved, kissed, and held.
She pushed me away and slurred at me “kissing is extra”.
My top lip curled and I recoiled as if I was punched in the jaw. I could feel the anger seethe to the surface and I spoke through clenched spittle generating teeth.
 “So I can stick my cock in any orifice I like, but I can’t get a kiss” I spat at her my heart racing.
“Ok I want to go home now please” she said as she tried to exit the car. I grabbed her hair and smashed her face into the dash board as hard as I could. The top of her head connecting with the most impact which stunned her, so I quickly got out and made my way around to her side of the car only to be met be her swinging at me wildly trying to push past me.
I grabbed her hair again and as she swung back towards me I hit her as hard as I could once twice three times. She went down but before she could hit the ground I grabbed her and placed her slumped body over the warm bonnet of the car.
It was at this moment I knew, and a strange calm washed over me as I went to the glove box and removed the roll of gaffer tape which was there in case of emergencies.
I bound her hands and feet, turned her around and I carefully placed a piece of the cloth covered plastic wonder tape over her mouth, taking care of course not to get it over her nose. She began to stir so I hit her yet again.
“Now who’s in charge bitch?” I said as I carried my prize off into the still dark house, not entirely sure of what my next moves would be but the excitement I felt carried on with me.
I lay the still unconscious prize on my bed and then instantly knew I had done wrong, hair and blood would transfer to my clothing and the bed clothes.
“Shit” I said aloud running my fingers through my hair, sweat and annoyance washed by my palms as I did so. 
“Fuck, Shit, Fuck” I was angry and annoyed I will have to destroy the sheets quilt and all now, as well as these clothes and the car what about the car, I know a need a UV torch, that’s for the morning now I need to think.
I moved to the well presented kitchen and found the bin liners in the corner pantry behind the three cans of Campbell’s soup, all tomato of course. I moved back into the garage and grabbed my trusty gaffer tape once more; I cut and made a large plastic sheet that I could lay my prize on to ensure I would not get anymore of her in my house.
Taking my makeshift drop sheet I laid it out carefully on the bedroom floor and taped the corners to keep it flat. The bathroom light was now a glow and my heart raced with both anticipation and fear.
The head made a thud as it hit the floor on my plastic sheet I made an oh face and took in a sharp breath thinking that must of hurt. She moaned and her eyes opened slowly as a muffled scream was desperately trying to escape her taped shut lips.
“Shhhhh its ok I just lost control is all, it will be fine but I need to know you are alright.” I said to her and the madness that was in her eyes transferred to the sound coming from her trapped mouth.
“I said shut the fuck up!” and as I said it I straddled her trapping her immobile under my weight. She lay quiet for seconds then started bucking and screaming again like a banshee.
“All I wanted was a kiss you whore” I yelled as I placed my left forearm across her windpipe and using my right hand I pinched her nose shut. The feelings that arose in my mind as I held her life in my hands was exquisite and I was almost thrown clear as the bucking and movement became ferocious, her eyes bulged and the tape was now blowing in and out as she tried to gain a hint of air, where there was anger there was now pleading.
Her movements started to slow and then stop as her body was starved of the oxygen it required, and she died while looking into my eyes. I swear I saw the lights go out.
The look of death was normal for me and I had seen it many times the ritual of cleaning a body prior to examination and tagging all the fluids and debris for the forensic teams after a murder. This was different the gasses left her first and the smell was almost instant as her bowels and stomach let go of their contents. I ran quickly downstairs and grabbed all the tissues and bags I could as well as my hot melt gun I use for fix ups and craft. Luckily I had a couple of full sticks of the solid glue. I dragged the lifeless body to the bathroom and lifted the dead weight into the tub still fully clothed so I could grab onto something as I lifted.
The scissors I had grabbed came in handy as I cut away her clothes and removed them being careful to place them back onto the plastic blanket I had created previously. After she was naked I stood and disrobed placing all my clothing and shoes onto the plastic also. I ran the warm water and using a carwash sponge I found in the garage, bathed and washed away the vile fluids that were draining from her lifeless body, most of the heat had left her now and she was tepid to the touch but still comforting, so I lay with her in the bath and together we enjoyed the sensations of warm water.
I found a way to enter her womanly opening by draping one leg over the bath tub. The sensation was exhilarating and the surge of love and power I felt was immeasurable, I lasted only mere seconds before I exploded the gift of life into the dead flesh but I knew then that this was now my life. I had never experienced anything like it and I knew if I didn’t kill again I never would. But I needed it to be a thing of beauty not a rushed whore who deserved it but a compliant partner that was willing to be my next conquest.
Amy flashed into my mind’s eye and I smiled but that was too close to home so to speak It would need to be a date, ok so now I need to learn how to seduce a woman. It would take time and I had time I am a young man I can hone my talents to meet my requirements. The fun drifted from my mind as I knew now I had a job to do.
“Well babe let’s get you all cleaned and plugged up ready for bed shall we. I used the wadded tissues and paper towel to plug the orifices and then the smell of burning flesh hit my nose as I used the hot melt gun to fill in behind the wadded paper in the anus and throat. Bloating would be inevitable soon so she would only be my honey for the rest of the day.
I dried her and placed her in the bed next to me on a plastic sheet I had made again from an old drop sheet and some duct tape. After we made love a second time I settled down snuggling in her hair and slept the best I had in years.